starmark | IC Inbox | rubycity_rp

do you wanna go

they're open on the weekends i'll go with you

YES
holy shit yes
i will kick you ass at every game

ok it's on the beach so it's kind of a trip to get there but it's worth it

i think there's a tram that makes it go fast

also if you go into the woods have chariot ready, there are monsters out there

holy shit
okay
are we talking like easily handled monsters or like
you and me and kakyoin would have to be together to handle them monsters

kind of both

i've been going out to keep them away from the house since...pretty much we finished the house, so they don't come near our actual boundary lines, it's safe here

but further out into the woods there are packs of wolves the size of cars, which are tough to deal with, and also wendigoes which are cannibals and eat human flesh

those are the big ones, the smaller ones are more of murderous nuisances than dangerous threats

well shit jotaro next time you go out take me

[Both because he wants to be around if Jotaro is in trouble and because he could do with a good fight.]

you mean romantically?

[OKAY NO HE'LL BE SERIOUS IN A MINUTE BUT FOR NOW: FUCKING WITH PEOPLE]

yes
take me to see wendingos thats my ideal date
i want our first time to be scored by the howls of man sized wolves

you did say you flirt like a werewolf earlier

...

i think maybe it'd be good to have someone else out there with me, though

when i go out

sometimes i just kind of

i wonder sometimes if i'm the monsters' monster, like. normal people are afraid of them, but they're all afraid of me.

well

i mean
sure they're afraid of you you're fucking deadly when you want to be
but they SHOULD be afraid because they're MONSTERS

like dont start on how maybe you're a monster inside because you're good at beating people up
for crissake jotaro youre the best person i know
youre not going around beating up people for money

is this something you worry about?

sort of?

dio's afraid of me

little kid dio i mean, i'm his monster the way that he was ours

and that kind of fucks me up a little but it's not like i feel bad about what i did because i don't, and i'd do it again

it's just not as black and white as it used to be anymore i guess

yeah
believe me i know that
he wont come near me without looking at me like im going to kill him
giorno came with him one day and he still looked ready to bolt

but look
youre not a bad person
and youre careful about what you do
if you pointed out somebody on the street and said, "hey, beat them up" id do it in a second because i trust you that much
does that make sense?
you have a good sense of morality
youre a good person

yeah giorno keeps tabs on him because i can't

i mean it's stupid because he's just some dumb little kid but i still

thanks, polnareff

hes a dumb kid but he's a kid
but hes also the fucker who did all that shit to us

why giorno anyway
i mean is it just the age thing?

because it has to be someone i'd trust with my life

and it can't be kakyoin because i can't shove dio off onto kakyoin and still be able to sleep at night

[That makes sense, and so once again, the familial question of Dio and Giorno slides past, unnoticed.]

im not saying hes not trustworthy because i really like the kid
but what happened in six months that you trust giorno with your life?

...remember how you said that giorno is like your little brother, and i said that was funny because he's like mine too

there's a reason why he and i are like that

giorno knows about star platinum. more than just knows about him, he's seen me use it. we sparred once and he can keep up with me. there are a lot of things that giorno understands that a lot of people just...can't. not from not wanting to try or anything but just because...

okay

giorno understands me the way that you and kakyoin understand each other when it comes to mind control. it's not like i'm not your friend or i don't care or i don't want to understand, but i haven't been there, in those shoes, so it's not the same for me. you guys both get that in a way that i can't get that.

there are things that giorno and i get each other about that other people can't get.

...

one of those things is "being similar to dio".

...

when i met giorno here, i knew more about his father than he did, because all he'd ever had was a picture and a name, but i had fought him. you and i fought him. you and i killed him in cairo.

and every single time someone shows up, it seems like, he and i have to

he didn't ask for dio to be his father any more than i asked for his power to stop time, but here we are and that's what we live with. so i protect him from the fallout as much as i can. i keep that secret for him when it needs to be kept because that's what you do for family. and sometimes i do the hard things for him because he can't, just like he does things i can't do for me.

la nostra famiglia è un cerchio di sostegno. it means "our family is a circle of support."

that's what happened.

we've supported each other so many times that we might as well just be a circle, sometimes you can't even tell where he ends and where i begin.

[There isn't a reply. Not for a long while, anyway, because it's just too much all at once.

Dio can't have children. That's Polnareff's first thought, so loud and harsh it drowns out anything else. Dio can't have children. It's impossible. Wasn't he just today thinking about those piles of bodies Dio had left around his mansion; girls lured in and fucked and then sucked dry, bled out and left to rot. So-- what, he let one go? Just decided that she wasn't worth eating, and that was that? No, he thinks, his lip curling, but of course it's possible. Dio might have wanted a legacy, and he can well imagine that.

The real reason he thinks no is simply: it's too normal. Dio-- vampire, murderer, manipulator, rapist of mind and quite probably body, Dio, who is responsible for half his friends dying, who has killed thousands-- cannot have something so ordinary as a child. He cannot be a father, he cannot be anything close to human.

And even if he is-- god, even if he is, how can what he produced be Giorno? Giorno, who cried because he was given a teddy bear, who jumps into Polnareff's arms and does his hair every morning and pouts when he's told pudding isn't the best? Giorno is about as threatening as a cat-- and how can he be the one Dio spawned? It's as if Jotaro had mentioned Dio was his father; it simply does not add up.

And yet, and yet-- Japanese and English. So-- what, Giorno's mother was Japanese, and moved to Italy, and had Giorno there, and then about five years later they all came and killed Dio and that was that. Had Giorno known? Had he and his mother mourned? Did they know what Dio was, or had he pretended to them, charmed them, just as he did Kakyoin and Polnareff?

Because now Polnareff thinks, too, of Giorno escorting Dio around the city. Two blond heads, bobbing into view, one carefully watching the other, keeping him safe, mitigating his fear as tactfully as he can. Does he care about Dio? Does he look at him and think my father, or does he know?

He must know. He must, Jotaro wouldn't have kept that from him. But this is all too much, and he can't-- there are some things you can't do over text.]

where are you

[The truth is, he's not altogether surprised when that's the response he gets back. It's not the first time a texting exchange of theirs has abruptly come to a jarring halt at the revelation of some new and vital information. It probably won't be the last.

The question is, what's waiting on the other side of this? Anger? Sadness? Frustration? Betrayal? Desperation?

He could never take sides between Giorno and Polnareff. There are some things he just can't possibly take sides on — this isn't the first of them he's faced here in this city, either.

That's what happens when you love everyone involved.

What a difference it is from the way he'd felt in those early days of knowing Giorno, when he'd felt empty and alone and disconnected no matter what he did, no matter what motions he'd gone through to try to pretend like he was normal.

How fortunate he is, to be faced with a problem like this — the kind of problem with its foundations in connection and affection, that he never had to worry about in the first place before.]

i'll come to you

your room??

yeah

[The smell of cigarettes fill the air in Polnareff's room, though he's thrown open the window. Now, more than ever, he smokes them like a lifeline, inhaling the harsh taste, trying to focus entirely on the steady stream of nicotine, of the bitter taste filling his mouth.

He sits up when Jotaro comes in, making room for him without a word.]

[That's easy enough. He's there in no time — well, no, he's there in some time, but a very slight amount of some time, which is an important distinction to be made for a person who quite literally could've been there in no time at all if he'd really wanted.

As it is, he comes through the door and shuts it behind him, moving over to fall in next to Polnareff but without reaching for him, not yet. Better to let Polnareff set the pace, and just support until he's given his cues to do otherwise. Polnareff is the one who's hurt here, so the first order of business is to take care of him.]

...You and I are a circle too, Polnareff.

[Yes, and the answer rises instantaneously within him, just as it had been before. Yes, because he will always be there for Jotaro, Jotaro will always be there for him, there's no question, no hesitation--

And yet right now, the yes comes with a hot tinge of hurt. Yes, and yet his stomach curls, and he grips his cigarette harder.

Polnareff, always the last to know. It had happened with Avdol, but he'd been so happy to see him that he hadn't had time to nurse his hurt. And here-- well, Polnareff knows why Jotaro hadn't told him immediately. It's Giorno's secret, and Jotaro values privacy, he knows the weight of secrets, of family lineage. It wasn't entirely his secret to say-- and yet here's Polnareff, three weeks later, only just catching up on what everyone else already knows.]

Yeah?

[It's a request for assurance, quiet and childish and immediately regretted. Polnareff glances away, ears red-- stupid, he thinks, and sucks at his cigarette.]

Giorno knows that we killed him, then. That we killed his father.

[He looks up silently for a moment — up, because despite their difference in heights he's naturally slouching in solidarity, holding himself low and unobtrusive and steady — and regards Polnareff as he looks away, the heat under his skin, and —

this is bullshit, jotaro, i feel betrayed
i know, that's why it's the worst part
so i just have to deal with it? i hate this emotion

— and before he can think better of it, he makes the circle more tangible, more visible; he reaches for the cigarette and plucks it from Polnareff's mouth, just long enough to take a drag on it himself before offering it back.

Around and around, like Hamon in the blood. Everything is circles, everything important.]

Yeah.

[He lets a beat pass, and then —]

You're the thing we had in common, the night we first met him. You were the very first bridge between us.

[It happens so fast he doesn't have time to react-- just Jotaro, taking his cigarette, inhaling without missing a beat, and handing it back. Like it's nothing. Like they do it all the time-- which they do, actually, easily and without comment. He reaches for it, takes it, puts it back in his mouth-- and then offers a weak sort of smile. It doesn't last, but it's there, and it's meant for Jotaro.]

I don't even know him.

[And then, because that's not fair--]

Not the way he knows me. He looks at me like I'm-- I'm somebody, I'm his famiglia, and here I only just found out who his father is. I just found out, Jotaro, and--

[It's hard to vocalize everything swirling through his head. It isn't usually; usually he just blurts out whatever he's thinking, angry or sad or happy-- but there's too much, too many threads to follow, too many ways he's being torn.]

What did he tell you, when he met you.

Edited 2016-04-04 03:22 (UTC)

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