IC Inbox | rubycity_rp | I

[starmark]

. . . Yare yare. What is it? Hurry up and say something already.



⇦ ● ⇨


[OOC: Contact through any format is fine, including action as you see fit!]

Comments

[lapidarius]

. . .

[That was-]

[...actually okay, once he'd taken a minute to properly process it. More than okay, he could understand it. Were their positions reversed, he'd be just as upset, wouldn't he? Completely beside himself, and probably shouting on top of that. And wasn't it, Kakyoin thought, almost exactly shit like this that nearly earned Polnareff a broken nose once? Because he'd been an idiot and spared not even the slightest thought for his life or safety?]

You won't. [The answer came after a long silence, in the shape of quiet determination rather than open denial or an argument.] I don't...want to keep feeling like this. I don't want this to be the kind of person I am now, Jojo. I--I don't know what the hell I want, but I know doing all of this isn't it.

[starmark]

You don't have to keep feeling like this. You don't have to keep being someone you don't want to be. Neither of us do.

[And now, at last, he passes off his coffee cup to Star, mostly untouched, in favor of sliding back to support himself better against the wall and opening his arms loosely in invitation.]

I'm mad at you. Doesn't mean I hate you, or that my feelings have changed. So come here...if you want. Huh?

[lapidarius]

Yeah. I...okay.

[Just...one thing at a time. It didn't have to get magically repaired all at once, they could work this whole thing out a little at a time until some kind of conclusion was reached. Together.]

[For now, all he did was move over and take up a position leaning back against Jotaro, taking off his glasses in favor of pressing a hand to his face in exhaustion or exasperation.]

[starmark]

[This is nice. Being able to just hold Kakyoin close, with or without words — it's nice. It's comforting. Hopefully he's as comforting right back, even amid the frustration and sadness.]

You can change, if that's what you want. I know you can. I believe in you. Okay?

[lapidarius]

I know that. Just as much as I believe in you. [His hand dropped away from his eyes in favor of lacing their fingers together.]

...What I'm trying to say is that I'm going to need you with me. Together, like we should be.

[starmark]

Yeah. You know I will be.

[He pauses, giving Kakyoin's fingers a slight squeeze.]

Listen. I'm going to say this, too, because I think it's good for you to hear it. Because I'm speaking from experience when I say it.

You're going to mess up. I have. You're going to backslide; I did. Sometimes change is like...crawling up a steep gravel hill on your elbows. It'll hurt. You'll fuck up. You'll slide back down.

No one is going to stop caring about you if that happens. Understand?

[lapidarius]

It won't...get annoying?

[It sounded like asking that took actual effort, probably because it did. Kakyoin kept reminding himself that he had to be open and straightforward here, if absolutely nowhere else just yet.]

[...He really, really still wasn't great at the whole friendship thing.]

I don't want to end up looking like some kind of lost cause.

[starmark]

You can't worry about it like that.

[He pulls him a little closer, nuzzling down onto the top of his head.]

When something inside you says, "I'm afraid I look like a lost cause", tell it, "Jotaro would never give up on me." Until it shuts up.

[lapidarius]

... [Kakyoin laughed to himself, squeezing Jotaro's hand in response.]

I can do that. You're the only person I know that's more stubborn than I am, after all.

[starmark]

Good. Try that for a while, and see where it gets you.

[lapidarius]

Hopefully not too far from right here. I'm kind of enjoying where we are at the moment.