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[starmark]

. . . Yare yare. What is it? Hurry up and say something already.



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[starmark]

Normal brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrro help.

[What a very elegant growl, rendered cheerfully from deep in his throat.]

Is it a woman? I don't smell woman on you. Well. Not more woman than usual.

[silvercrusader]

[Well, that's creepy on several levels! That growl sends a shudder down his spine, something primal and terrified, something that whispers he'd best start running right now, no matter how sure he is of Jotaro's friendship.

Also! Super weird to know your bro smells stuff on you, up to and including the last time you had sex. Like, he gets it, Jotaro's a wolf, it comes with the territory, but like . . . yikes.]

It's about women, actually-- how often do you smell me?

[starmark]

I smell you all the time.

[Said with the vague indignation of a person who's just been asked, "how often do you perceive me with your eyes", or something to that degree. IT'S NOT HIS FAULT HIS SENSES ARE SUPERIOR TO YOURS in every way also he is super handsome and debonair, POLNAREFF.]

Why is that bad? Things don't jump out at you because I make sure you stay smelling like mine. My brrrrrrrro.

[silvercrusader]

Wait-- wait, wait. You scent me? What exactly do you make me smell like to the monsters!

[starmark]

...I told you. You smell like mine.

[IS THIS NOT OBVIOUS. HOW DO HUMANS EXIST WITHOUT THIS PAINFULLY SIMPLE CONCEPT.]

If something touches you I'll chase them until they die. And if I catch them before then, I'll bite them with all my teeth.

[silvercrusader]

[IS HE FLATTERED OR SLIGHTLY APPALLED . . . possibly both at once, with a side of somewhat pleased. He's never been a wolf's possesion before. This is a whole new world.]

You know you don't have to do that, right? I can take care of myself.

[Not refusing Jotaro's protection, exactly. But just clarifying.]

[starmark]

You're not prey, if that's what you're worried about. Nobody would mistake you for a squirrel, or something.

[Hee hee hee. He looks amused at the very notion.]

Tell me the woman thing.

[silvercrusader]

I wasn't . . .

[MOVING ON.]

So what if you, like, attacked a woman? But not actually attacked, just fake-attacked, so I could fake-defeat you-- then she'd be really grateful to me, and that's how I get my next paramour!

[starmark]

Hmmmmmmmmmm. I don't like animals who attack women.

[But it doesn't seem like that's a "no", so much as just a general statement; evidently he's voicing his thoughts aloud as he considers this.]

But you said it's not really attacking. And. Women expect wolves to be dangerous, anyway, don't they? That one threw pepper in my eyes and all I did was look at her.

[Grump grump grump.]

Which woman is it? Did you pick out a good one?

[silvercrusader]

[Ah yes, the Pepper Incident. The source of much whining and pawing for quite a while. Polnareff remembers well.]

I dunno yet! I figure we could stake out the streets for a while. Lots of women come and go.

[He's really not picky; he'll find someone good looking enough soon.]

I wanted to make sure you were on board first.

[starmark]

You're going to have to be much quieter if we're going to have a stakeout.

[... :|a ]

And you can owe me a steak. Out.

[Hee hee.]

[silvercrusader]

Hah.

[Good one.]

Yeah, all right! Raw or cooked?

[Important distinctions to make, and he nods towards . . . a random direction, actually, he has no idea which way is home.]

Come on, let's get started! Oye, and you can tell me more about scents and shit-- what the hell do I smell like, aside from yours?

[starmark]

[You know what's funny? He doesn't need to walk over and make a show of getting in a few good sniffs around Polnareff's neck and shoulders. But he's going to do it anyway, because it's funny, and also because it will leave a little more of him on his brrrrrrrro. Just in case.]

Like metal and oil. Smoke. Leather. ...Magic.

[Mmm, magic.]

You've been playing with that baby I gave you.

[jotaro he's like sixteen now]

[silvercrusader]

Haruno-o-o-o--

[Any and all discomfort Jotaro's sniffing had induced is instantly gone. Polnareff coos out the name, smiling at nothing at all.]

Not just a baby anymore-- although he's always going to be my baby. But he's seventeen! He's practically an adult.

[starmark]

He grew up fast. Sometimes he comes into the woods and runs around in patterns. He draws pictures with his scent for me.

[What a cutie.]

Does he have to approve of your lady?

[silvercrusader]

[Of course he does. Because Haruno is clever, and pure, and so, so perfect.]

He will! I mean, yes, he does, but he's not going to be joining us.

[Some things a son shouldn't have to witness his father doing, and that includes flirting. If any lady gets beyond the quickie stage, Haruno will have to approve-- but that's for far later.]

Isn't he the best?

[starmark]

He's pretty good.

[Eighty-five points!]

...Hey. Have you seen that red-hooded human around?

1/2

[silvercrusader]

The delivery boy with the good legs?

[Yes, obviously.]

Yeah, wh--

[silvercrusader]

[WAIT.]

Why?

[starmark]

Stop. Stop looking at me like that, I'll bite you.

[HE SUPER WON'T, LOOK AT THIS TSUN. IT IS THE MOST OBVIOUS TSUN TO EVER TSUN.]

[silvercrusader]

Jotaro! I'm just looking at you!

[With the biggest shit-eating grin to ever grace man.]

Do you know what he smells like?

[starmark]

Y— no shit I do! Do you think I don't smell people who trespass in my woods?

[silvercrusader]

[IT MEANS SOMETHING-- actually, no, it doesn't, because Jotaro definitely does smell everyone. But! He's looking all flustered, so it counts as a win.]

So why were you asking about him, then?

[starmark]

[oh, the flustered train isn't stopping anytime soon. he's just getting more and moreso with every passing second.]

Because he trespasses! In my woods! I should eat him.

[silvercrusader]

Well, something with your mouth, anyway.