starmark | IC Inbox | rubycity_rp

They were the best part of my life. Without question. I loved them more than anything. They were the only people who made me happy.

I gave my word, and I'm not going to go back on it, period.

But can I ask why you want this to stay between us?

You really don't have any idea?

You don't want everyone's pity.

You don't want Jojo to know.

You don't want to have to have this conversation fifty times with each individual person.

You don't want Kakyoin to know.

...It makes you sad to talk about.

Jojo knows. But I'm not the one who told him.

They're my family. You know? We never had anything but each other. No one should speak their names without my permission. No one should take that away from me. What I am - what I chose to be and the mistakes I made, those are mine, no one else's.

It makes me sad. I miss them. But they're mine, and I'm theirs. This is the only way I can protect them here, by keeping them from being someone else's sad story. It's the Zeppelis' story. Not the Joestars'.

...That's

[...]

I understand. I actually...understand something a lot better now, than I did a minute ago. Not about you, just about...family. Stories.

Thank you. For that, and for trusting me far enough to tell me yours.

Yeah.

Family is important. You know? I think sometimes I don't say it right, or explain it right, and it comes out sounding like pride and nothing else. But that's not all it is.

You resent it when the Zeppelis are made into the sidekicks of the Joestars, right?

It's insulting, taking your story and pretending like it's just a subplot of ours.

Yes.

We've sacrificed. My grandfather died. My father died. I died. ~~Kakyoin~~

We matter.

I think my mom feels like that sometimes, too, even as a Joestar.

Too much Joestar, not enough Kujo. Like Joestar is the only thing that matters, and not the family she chose for herself.

...

I'm not trying to say anything by that. I don't have the right to say anything, period. But I think I've seen what you're describing in other places, too, that's what I mean.

It doesn't bother me.

Right now, anyway. It might if you said it to me tomorrow. Right now things aren't terrible, so I can handle it.

I won't bring it up again, then.

I'm not really sure what to say, though.

Sorry. That's not what I meant. Just because I'm happy now doesn't mean I won't be tomorrow.

What I meant is - I think it's good. That you're looking for that. How it is to get close to your family without being a part of it. It was a lot easier when I could just hate all of you. It's not so easy now, which is frustrating. But that you're looking - it helps. It helps me.

...Who am I in your story?

I don't mind if it's not someone good. I don't mind if I don't have one, either.

But if I do I think that's something I'd like to know.

I don't know.

I don't hate you. I tried to, it just didn't work. You're not a bad person. You never tried to make people like me disappear. But I have trouble understanding you sometimes, why you want to know the things you want to know. I was upset when you upset Jojo. Both times.

I want you to be happy. I want you to get whatever you want in life. But I suppose I'm a little scared of you.

Oh.

For what it's worth, I think you deserve to be happy. And if it were possible for me to...make a space, somewhere, so you could just have that, away from all the bullshit, I think that I probably would.

I appreciate that. But it probably wouldn't take if someone else did it for me.

Are you going to try to do that yourself?

I don't know. Common sense would dictate that if I'm going to do it, it should be for me and not anyone else. I don't really care enough about it to do it for myself at the moment.

...I have this friend. He's good with people, probably the best I've ever met. And he does this thing where he just...it's like he can see what people need most, where they need to go or whatever, and he pushes them just far enough to get them going, but then he lets them go. It's never too much, he always gets it right. Just as far as they need, and no more.

I used to wish sometimes that I was more like him. Because I admired that in him, that he could do that for people, understand them that well and care so much and get them to exactly where they need to be to start doing it on their own.

I have another friend who's like a speedboat. He goes past you and you can't help but get caught up in his wake, and sometimes you even get towed along. It seems like he's always going on ahead, as fast as he can, to prove to everyone who's still behind him that it's possible to keep going forward, too.

I don't think I'm very much like either of them. I don't know what I am, either. But I guess I bring them up because...I hope that you have the chance to meet someone like that. Maybe not someone who's like either of them in particular, but someone who can do the thing that they do, in their own ways.

Maybe that's a stupid wish. "I hope that you meet someone who changes your life for the better." But maybe it's something that people ought to wish each other more often, even if it's just to remind each other that people like that exist in the first place. So people remember sometimes to look for them at all.

Thank you for telling me about your family.

I already have. A few people. I think you'll be one of them someday. Or I'd like to think that.

Thank you for listening. About my family. And for being trustworthy. And for letting me visit your home. I didn't punch anyone at all this time.

You should spend time with Star Platinum.

He has a list of things that are his favorite, which I guess means we don't punch them.

Does he really?

That's sort of amazing.

He learns things. From the people he's around, the way people treat him.

My mom kissed him on the head and he figured out that's something you do when you care about someone. The pudding is someone else's favorite, someone who makes him happy, so now it makes him happy, too. He knows that you put your arms around people when they look sad. He's always...asking me things, sort of, because he needs me in order to understand, he's always asking "what does this mean, so what do I do".

Before I even knew his name, knew what he was, he would bring me things to try to make me happy. Like granting wishes, fulfilling whims. He's...

I try to let him do as many things as I can because I want to see what he's like when he's not punching things. I want him to have things that aren't punching.

(I'm not trying to make some kind of bullshit analogy or something, that's just why I try to let him do the things he does.)

Oh.

[. . .]

Why doesn't Hierophant do that?

IC Inbox | rubycity_rp | I

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this tag was so much better the first time >BC

punches chrome's lack of lazarus >BC

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