starmark | IC Inbox | rubycity_rp

I went to Spiral the other day. I wanted to thank him in person for having given me something, but...

[Kakyoin's voice wavered and trailed off, at which point he decided he'd be taking that hug again thank you.]

...damn it.

[He pulled him in tight, fitting him easily beneath his chin as usual, and using his height and wider frame to its best possible advantage at the moment.]

Go ahead. I'm right here. I've got you.

...

[Kakyoin didn't answer for a few seconds, gripping Jotaro's coat like it was the only thing keeping him standing there.]

...it's not fair. It's not fucking fair, he was the same as I am--

[The same as...

— oh. That got Jotaro to freeze up a little, not wanting to draw the obvious connection.]

He had died, before coming here...?

[Damn it, he did it again. Talked without thinking, and said too much because of it. If he ever saw Ishimaru again, he'd owe him an apology.]

That's...why we got along so easily. Part of it. He liked Hierophant, and we...kind of figured out the rest of it.

[Deep breath.]

We were just talking not that long ago, about what we should do if this whole thing was our last chance.

...It's not. It won't be for you, so maybe it won't be for him, either.

[He held Kakyoin a little tighter.]

What did you decide...? About what you should do?

...'We've more than earned the right to be happy, so we should take that last chance and use it for all that it's worth.'

But that was easy to say and easier to believe when we were both still here. And it doesn't change anything about the whole situation.

The whole situation?

We can't...be sure we can fix this. There's just no way we can possibly know that, Jotaro. [Kakyoin pulled back again, hands curled into fists at his sides as he looked away.]

With how many of us just disappeared without warning, I don't...I don't even know how long anyone will be here. Not just me, but you, Passione, Jonathan, everyone--

[He stopped himself before his voice turned frantic, glaring at a spot on the ground off to the side.]

No matter what we say or believe, it might not help.

...You're afraid you'll wake up tomorrow and I'll be gone.

[Honestly, it was a thought he'd been thinking about as he'd been comforting Giorno and Bruno, seeing them both upset and destroyed in their own ways. Thinking about how he'd been there once before, and how easily it could destroy Kakyoin if he were next.]

Deep down that's what it is. Right...?

...

[His hands curled tighter in a white-knuckled grip, every inch of his back and shoulders held so rigidly that it almost looked painful.]

One of us could be.

...Don't —

[Evidently this was just going to be the night of yanking Kakyoin bodily back into his arms, but in the face of something like that, he couldn't help himself.]

Don't. Please. Don't wind up that tight.

If I see one more person looking like that I might lose it, please. Noriaki.

[It was, unsurprisingly, his name which went the furthest in pulling him out of whatever he was even doing. Gradually, Kakyoin started to relax--he was just tired at this point, and he had no idea what to do about it.]

[But the more he relaxed, it became obvious why he'd held himself so rigidly--his shoulders had already started shaking.]

...I don't want to just not wake up one morning, Jojo.

You're not going to.

[He couldn't promise that. He couldn't in any fairness promise that and he didn't give a single solitary damn that he couldn't, because he was going to anyway, universe be damned, all universes be damned if he had to, he'd suffered enough and this was all he wanted anymore, just this. What did any of the rest of it really matter without the foundation that was this?]

That's not going to happen. I won't let it happen.

...Stop. Please, just...stop, okay? [Kakyoin shook his head, giving up and going back to clinging to Jotaro's coat.]

......

[Evidently upset, but unwilling to protest, he fell silent and simply gathered Kakyoin in instead.]

[. . .]

I'm sorry. [Kakyoin started with that, once he was sure his voice wouldn't crack however shaky it sounded.] I'm trying--I've been trying this whole time to believe there's another way, and I know there could be. I shouldn't be afraid--I'm not afraid to die.

[But when it came down to it, it was hard to let himself believe any of this mattered when it could just stop without warning. Ishimaru and Abbacchio...if they were back home, then they were just dead. There was no saving that.]

I don't want to leave you alone. I don't want any of you to feel like this.

Edited 2015-12-31 07:02 (UTC)

Someone here brought you back to life. That means there must be a way. If there's a way, do you think I'll stop before I've put it to use? No matter what it is. I'll find that way, Nori.

[So he said, with the authority and determination of someone who has done impossible things and learned, perhaps dangerously, his own capacity for achieving them.]

We're going home together. We're going home, and you're going to be grounded for years for fucking off like you did, and I'm going to have to sneak in your damn window just to see you — we're going to college, we're going to go to Italy and see Giorno, we'll find Morioh and meet Josuke again together, we'll go wherever we want because nobody will have any damn right to tell us we can't...

I'm taking you with me, understand? We did...we did so much shit that we never asked to have to do and now it's fucking time we did shit that we did ask to do. I'm asking for you. I want you and that's what's going to happen, I won't let it be any different —

Our damn chance to be happy isn't going to stop here, I won't let it!

Edited 2015-12-31 07:28 (UTC)

[Kakyoin took a deep breath and closed his eyes--he wished he could believe that so easily. He wished he could stop thinking about how easy it would apparently be for anyone to just disappear without a trace. He wished he wasn't such a coward about this.]

...

[But for just a second, he reminded himself that he already should have died once. It was 'impossible' for him to have survived, and yet he'd lived fifty days past that and now at least six months more.]

['Jotaro can't stand impossible things, so I'd guess that hearing the death of someone uninvolved couldn't be prevented just pissed him off enough to prove the opposite.']

[For just a second, he let himself hope that would be enough again--and he did everything he could to make that second stop and last forever.]

You're right--I'm in a hell of a lot of trouble when we get back. [Kakyoin murmured that absently against Jotaro's shoulder, with a hesitant and nearly inaudible laugh.]

...never been to Italy, though.

Not yet. But we will.

[He'd make it so. He just would, beyond a shadow of a doubt.]

This isn't borrowed time. This is — this has been the start of what's going to continue from now on.

I'll...I want to believe that, too. All I can say right now is that I'll try.

Believe in me. You're better at that than anyone else in the world.

When you're the one having faith in me, how can anything be impossible?

I think I can do that. 'Impossible' doesn't...doesn't mean anything to us anymore, right? Because we can't lose if we're together.

Edited 2015-12-31 07:57 (UTC)

Right.

...So. I'm going to take you anywhere you want, and then I'm going to take you home. And when you wake up tomorrow I'll be the first thing that you see. Got it?

Yeah. I...won't go anywhere without you.

[He didn't pull away again, but looked up enough to actually make eye contact.]

That's a promise--for you as much as it's for me. I'll stay at your side, and you'll be at mine.

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