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rubycity_rp | I
. . . Yare yare. What is it? Hurry up and say something already.
⇦ ● ⇨
[OOC: Contact through any format is fine, including action as you see fit!]
IC Inbox |
. . . Yare yare. What is it? Hurry up and say something already.
⇦ ● ⇨
[OOC: Contact through any format is fine, including action as you see fit!]
text;
text;
Do you want your pudding cup or not?
text;
text;
text;
I'll be there soon.
[AND OFF HE GOES]
action;
[But, since he's not, he'll be sitting across from the cafe on a bench, his legs crossed at the ankle, Gold Experience standing to one side. There's a navy blue cloth bag next to him. It's also decently obvious to the observant that he's been crying a little - not weeping, he's not a wreck, but there are little freckles of mascara under his eyes where he blinked wet lashes, and his eyes are still a little too bright for him to be totally calm.]
[He's got a real smile on when he sees Jotaro, though, and gets up as he approaches.]
Buona sera. Stand up still and straight for a moment, would you?
action;
And some of the intensity in that expression fades a little, when the two of them spot Giorno; Star doesn't miss the wet shine around his eyes, and Jotaro understands what it suggests. So it's good, he thinks, that he's here now. He's never really thought of himself as being particularly great at this, but —
Well. He hasn't forgotten the feeling of Giorno's hands curled around Star's strong fingers, either.
So he shrugs, a little thrown by the request, but not enough to be particularly suspicious of it.]
Sure. Him too?
[Either way, as requested, he and Star both fall into line, still and straight and patient for whatever Giorno evidently has in mind.]
action;
As you like.
[It's Gold Experience who moves forward now, picking up the bag and stepping forward. It hesitates just for a moment in front of Star, head tilted sideways, then moves on to stand next to Jotaro, with whom it's roughly of a height.]
[Giorno smiles and claps his hands together once, looking pretty smug himself. Which is never a good sign.]
All right. I promised, so.
[Gold Experience pulls a chocolate pudding cup out of the bag and rests it with perfect balance and delicacy on top of Jotaro's hat.]
One for you, because you said you needed a bribe.
[His Stand reaches into the bag again, pulls out another one, stacks it on top of the first.]
Two for you, because I think you must have done something to be proud of recently.
[Another one? Yes, another one.]
One for Kakyoin, for being brave.
[And finally, on top of the teetering stack, a fourth.]
One for Star Platinum, just in case he wants one.
[Gold Experience steps back to his side then, and Giorno digs his hand into the bottom of the bag, producing one last pudding cup and two spoons. He tosses one of them to Star Platinum.]
And one for me, for putting up with the both of you.
action;
Fortunately for everyone concerned, and the continued structural integrity of the pudding cup tower now currently adoring his head, the dilemma that Jotaro is in right now pits his unwillingness to look ridiculous directly against his reluctance to concede defeat, and in a calculus like that, stubbornness is always going to win out.
So he remains perfectly still, and the tower holds, to the point where Victorian schoolgirls would be jealous of his posture while this conversation carries on as though nothing has changed.
(Star, meanwhile, plucks the spoon effortlessly out of the air, and is eyeing the cup that's been designated as his, because that's a little new and different and worthy of being curious about.) ]
So I'm guessing that means he talked to you about it. How long has it been since then?
action;
[He points his spoon reproachfully at Jotaro, then peels the top off his pudding cup and hands it to Gold Experience. In about half a second it's a ladybug crawling up the Stand's arm and Giorno has a spoonful of pudding in his mouth. Half a second later, he's gesturing with it again.]
I talked to him about it. And that was around two weeks ago. I'm honestly impressed with him.
Can you walk like that, do you think?
action;
Yeah, probably. Should I?
[Moving on, conversationally if not physically (for the moment) —]
Can I ask what you said?
action;
[FEED YOUR STAND, YOU INHUMAN MONSTER. Aaand we're walking.]
[He's struck now with a dilemma. He could be kind and protect Kakyoin's dignity, or he could . . . not do that . . .]
He was annoyed I did the thing with your shirt. I told him he didn't need to worry about it, and he got confused, which led me to the conclusion that you were both approximately twenty steps behind where I thought you were. Then I told him you loved him and he should stop being stupid. That's essentially it.
[Kakyoin is safe for now.]
action;
...He's probably not wrong, but it's the saying it candidly that makes him jump — but luckily, Star Platinum is quick to intervene, and collects the pudding as it tumbles from on high.]
You told him what?
action;
Please remember that at the time you had confirmed as much to me. In the future, ask questions.
Anyway . . .
[He pauses for a moment and remembers what he said to Kakyoin exactly: so obvious. It was so obvious. And what Kakyoin said: I won't ask him to love someone that probably doesn't have a future. So obvious, so stupid. He should have brought two puddings for himself.]
[He takes another bite and sighs, then hangs the spoon off his end of his nose.]
That's what I thought from the start. The first moment, you understand, when you stepped in front of him, and even with context - I watch people, Jotaro, I've always watched people. Once, a long time ago, that was all I did. So I'm very good at it, and I don't jump to conclusions without evidence.
I did tell you it wasn't very nice.
action;
[Absently, he extends a hand and Star places a pudding cup into it, keeping the others for himself; because of how utterly fucking huge his hands are, it's no trouble for him to juggle three in one hand and the spoon in the other, and with Jotaro's implicit permission (and maybe unconscious instruction), he proceeds to set to.
Jotaro, on the other hand, seems more content to play with his pudding cup than eat it for the moment, and starts occupying himself by trying to spin it on one finger without letting it fall off.]
...You're saying that's what we acted like? People who were already...whatever. Together?
action;
[The ladybug is crawling up Gold Experience's arm; he watches it out of the corner of his eye with interest as he considers Jotaro's question. Not that there's anything to consider, really. The answer is yes. But it's still strange to think that you can be inside of that and not know.]
It is. Which he didn't believe. [It was like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, getting this one really simply idea into Kakyoin's head.] He figured it out after a while. But it was agonizing, frankly.
[He twirls the spoon between his fingers, thinking.]
You should ask him how he got there in the end, maybe. It's not my place to tell you, since I promised I wouldn't, but it might provide useful perspective.
action;
[Which is not to say that he's one to talk, or that Kakyoin being stupid makes him any less stupid, but he is at least both qualified and uniquely situated to agree and express that sometimes Kakyoin is just really dumb about things like friends and interpersonal relationships.]
He puts himself down a lot, and I don't know how to get him to stop.
[The pudding container wobbles; he gives it a flip and catches it easily in his hand rather than letting it fall.]
That's not a case of not talking about it. I said it a lot, outright. But he gets caught up in stuff and it's like he can't get past it, and it's almost always with me.
action;
[Just that, another quiet noise of assent; he's thinking.]
He's lonely. Or he was. It's like . . . mm, if a child isn't picked up when it cries, after a while, it assumes it won't be, no matter what, so it stops crying. What's the point? Someone who's alone for so long, they stop reaching for people because they don't think they'll ever touch them. What's the point?
And then, suddenly, someone picks up this child, or stands with this person who's alone, and it's overwhelming and terrifying and amazing. But they don't know how to keep this new thing safe. So they hang onto it with both hands, and they make sure nothing about the situation changes, because they don't know how it got to be that they weren't alone, and the only way to keep from being alone again is to make sure everything stays the same. Just in case.
Maybe he feels like he doesn't deserve you.
[Contemplatively, he takes a bite of pudding.]
Plenty of people don't. You're better than the vast majority of people I've met in my life. But he deserves you, and you deserve him. That's just how it is.
action;
[And that, of all things, seems to strike a chord with Jotaro; it makes him go quiet, but thoughtfully instead of abruptly, in a way that makes it obvious he's seizing this newly-introduced concept and turning it over and over to examine it, to use it like a new lens for old circumstances.]
He didn't know why I did that. So he didn't know...how to keep it...?
[Which, to a third party, is largely gibberish without context, but it seems to be escalating into an epiphany at a pretty good rate.]
And if he couldn't figure out why — then he'd have to try to make it up. Answering what happened because he couldn't answer the reason.
[.........]
...Shit.
action;
You're welcome for whatever eureka moment just happened. Are you going to share with the class?
action;
[...]
They said they couldn't do anything. He was just...lying there and they were all just standing around saying "well, that's it, it's going to kill him, he's going to die." It...wasn't right. It pissed me off.
[Funny how "it pissed me off" is so frequently verbal shorthand for "it made me feel something intensely", but so it goes, and he's tossing his pudding cup from hand to hand now, trying to keep himself grounded with the motion.]
I didn't even know if I could do it, but I knew I couldn't just sit there and do nothing. So Star took it out. I remember it went up my arm toward my brain, too, but...anyway, he took it out.
[Around his pudding, face still partially covered in chocolate goo, Star offers a quiet ora.]
But the first words out of his mouth, once he was awake, were, "why did you do that." He was on his knees, he had bandages around his head, and he was looking up at me like he was going to get up and fight me, even then. Like if I dared to look down on him, he'd get up and knock my teeth in.
And I thought, someone like that...the last thing he'd want is to think that I'd pitied him. Or that I was full of myself with righteousness, like I thought I was better for sparing my enemy and wanted him to make sure he knew it. So I just...didn't. Didn't really answer. I thought that was at least a little kinder than rubbing it in, or whatever.
...I didn't know anything about him then. I didn't know it'd end up being as important as it was.
action;
[Why did you do that?]
So. He didn't know, and . . . not knowing meant the only way to keep you was to do the same thing.
[He's tempted to take Jotaro's hand then, because he can, because he's here. Instead, he turns so that he's walking on Jotaro's other side, on Star's other side, and takes the Stand by the wrist and places the rest of his pudding into his hand, then links arms with him and walks for another moment or two in silence.]
All right. I'm going to tell you, even though I said I wouldn't. I think it's important.
He said that the reason he relates to you is because you're the first one who could ever see Hierophant. [A beat.] Because you saw his soul and you believed in it and you accepted it. You before anyone else.
So yes, I think you're right. I think he was afraid. I think he would have done anything to keep you close. But I also think that you made him feel validated and normal and sane. And loved. And that means a lot.
action;
[It had to be you. Your Stand was the only one that could've forced his hand, it had to b—
He doesn't even notice he's slowing down until he's a half-step away from being at a halt, momentarily lost in thought because there's one natural place that logic like that leads, one very obvious connection that puts together Point A and Point B — and he knows there are other points between them, vital ones, things that make a difference, but for a moment there's only two, and the line that connects them is it was how he could be useful.
That really isn't right, is it.
It's just not right. "Useful" isn't enough, it isn't nearly enough.
And he still doesn't know how it is he's supposed to go about this whole...everything, whatever this is, what he's asked for this extra time to consider, but there's one thing he's certain about now, and it's that if he accomplishes nothing else in his life, he's damn well going to convince Kakyoin that what he is, what he means, is worlds above and beyond "useful".]
So I need to tell him, flat-out, what it takes to keep me. He needs to understand it, or he'll be too worried about losing it to just accept it.
[LOOK AT HIM GO OH MY GOD LOOK AT HIM GO]
action;
[It's easy, too, because what's being said is easing the tight knot of worry in his chest a little bit. Jotaro is smart, but not in the way Kakyoin is smart - that is, sometimes he stumbles over his own emotions, but he doesn't tie himself up in knots thinking about every possible awful scenario. He sees what's happening, and he thinks about what should be happening, and he tries to bridge the gap.]
[Giorno leans his head against Star Platinum's arm and nods, small and solemn and serious.]
That's exactly what you need to tell him.
. . . I think what it is, really, is that sometimes people think they're speaking the same language when they're not. They're exchanging messages written in code, and every single person has his own particular cipher. So you have to give that away sometimes, if you want people to understand and feel safe. You need to give him that.
action;
[And it's a statement that comes with surprising confidence, and a sort of easy finality; it's important, so he's going to make it happen. Some things in life are like that — when you absolutely can't afford to lose, you cheat, but when your confidence in your success is absolute, there's no need to.
It's liberating, really. It's something he can do, a direction to pursue, instead of just wandering blindly and hoping that maybe he's fumbling his way toward doing something right.
And while he's thinking about this, Star Platinum appears fairly content with the new buddy he has acquired, and offers him a pudding-toothed grin that coincides with the exact moment that Jotaro seems to Get It™.
As the moment passes, he starts walking again, just enough to be a suggestion without leaving Giorno behind, and at length he offers up a new thought.]
...So. Is that why you feel safe when I'm around — because you've figured me out?
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