[As the gate closes, Jotaro takes that as his cue to shift the placement of his hands, moving from embracing Adrian to finding a grip that will let him turn his dhampir in his arms, intent on making him face him properly.]
All those late nights. The stuff you were dodgy about. It was this...?
[It's tempting to look away in shame, but Jotaro deserves better than that. So, with reluctance, he gazes at him, face to face and eyes meeting eyes.]
Most of the time, yes. It... started out innocently enough, as anything. Researching how chroma could power Hotaru's arm, improving it. Then I obtained some books from Dracula's library, and began to think: "what else could I use the chroma for?"
The easiest way to open the Infinite Corridor is with the sacrifice of mortal lives to power it. I thought that perhaps instead chroma was the answer. Although today was merely meant to be a test to see if I could even do it, I won't make any excuses about it.
So that you wouldn't have to go back to Wallachia. You'd just use this and...
[Follow him home. Escape. Run away to 1988, where he'd be loved and cherished and have a real future ahead of him, and not the cold isolation of abandonment and betrayal.
It's hard to hold it against him. Certainly he can't condemn Adrian for it. But he also knows, deep down, that it wouldn't be right, or fair to either of them, to just sweep it under the rug, either.]
Is it because you were afraid? I just — I need to know why. How you got to this point. How I didn't...notice.
[Ideally, he'd go with Jotaro. But even if he couldn't, then anywhere but Wallachia would be ideal. Acceptable.]
Fear. Apprehension. If I went back to Wallachia after everything I've had with you and Kakyoin, I... don't know if I could live again. Perhaps seeing Sypha again reminded me of it. Of what I gained here, and what I could never have in Wallachia. Not just because of losing Mother and Father, or being left -- but what Sumi and Taka did to me.
[He doesn't make it a question; they both know it isn't one. It's one thing to comfort Adrian; of course he could do that. But actually do something, take some real meaningful step to overcome that apprehension? What could he possibly do that would matter, deep down?
The truth is, he couldn't promise Adrian a future any more than he could promise Kakyoin one, for all that he might want to pretend otherwise.]
We should go find him. Now that things are settling down. Talk this out, all three of us.
[Adrian closes his eyes finally, feeling a horrible dread in his chest. How much has he ruined by doing this? Did he see his future, or was it a mere possibility branching away that he will never know?
[The guilt and shame are practically radiating off of Adrian in waves; it's impossible not to notice. Fumbling, and at a loss, Jotaro reaches down and brushes his fingers against Adrian's for a moment, before moving closer and more deliberately weaving them together to take his hand.
It doesn't make anything better. It doesn't solve anything. It doesn't fix it.
It's something he needs to do, anyway.]
I think he's at the academy. That's where I was headed, before...
[Before his doppelganger found him. Before they leapt through that errant portal. Before two people died, and one of them was him.]
no subject
[As the gate closes, Jotaro takes that as his cue to shift the placement of his hands, moving from embracing Adrian to finding a grip that will let him turn his dhampir in his arms, intent on making him face him properly.]
All those late nights. The stuff you were dodgy about. It was this...?
no subject
Most of the time, yes. It... started out innocently enough, as anything. Researching how chroma could power Hotaru's arm, improving it. Then I obtained some books from Dracula's library, and began to think: "what else could I use the chroma for?"
The easiest way to open the Infinite Corridor is with the sacrifice of mortal lives to power it. I thought that perhaps instead chroma was the answer. Although today was merely meant to be a test to see if I could even do it, I won't make any excuses about it.
no subject
[Follow him home. Escape. Run away to 1988, where he'd be loved and cherished and have a real future ahead of him, and not the cold isolation of abandonment and betrayal.
It's hard to hold it against him. Certainly he can't condemn Adrian for it. But he also knows, deep down, that it wouldn't be right, or fair to either of them, to just sweep it under the rug, either.]
Is it because you were afraid? I just — I need to know why. How you got to this point. How I didn't...notice.
no subject
[Ideally, he'd go with Jotaro. But even if he couldn't, then anywhere but Wallachia would be ideal. Acceptable.]
Fear. Apprehension. If I went back to Wallachia after everything I've had with you and Kakyoin, I... don't know if I could live again. Perhaps seeing Sypha again reminded me of it. Of what I gained here, and what I could never have in Wallachia. Not just because of losing Mother and Father, or being left -- but what Sumi and Taka did to me.
no subject
[He doesn't make it a question; they both know it isn't one. It's one thing to comfort Adrian; of course he could do that. But actually do something, take some real meaningful step to overcome that apprehension? What could he possibly do that would matter, deep down?
The truth is, he couldn't promise Adrian a future any more than he could promise Kakyoin one, for all that he might want to pretend otherwise.]
We should go find him. Now that things are settling down. Talk this out, all three of us.
no subject
[Adrian closes his eyes finally, feeling a horrible dread in his chest. How much has he ruined by doing this? Did he see his future, or was it a mere possibility branching away that he will never know?
Stiffly, he nods.]
Okay.
no subject
It doesn't make anything better. It doesn't solve anything. It doesn't fix it.
It's something he needs to do, anyway.]
I think he's at the academy. That's where I was headed, before...
[Before his doppelganger found him. Before they leapt through that errant portal. Before two people died, and one of them was him.]