starmark | IC Inbox | prismatica

I can do that

be there soon

[Fortunately, he's getting pretty good at the cycle of the moons, and at learning to anticipate curveballs like this when the violet moon takes to the sky. Iris is always hard for Alucard, in one way or another; even at its worst, Sanguis never seems quite so burdensome as Iris seems to be on his dhampir, and he's grown accustomed to preparing in advance for whatever new challenge might arise every Iris cycle.

It's hard to admit, but in a strange way, he sort of likes it. He likes being needed the way Alucard needs him, and he likes the rush of satisfaction that comes with comforting him and easing his ache. It makes him feel like he's doing something right in the aftermath of a time in his life when he felt like everything he did went wrong. That's selfish of him, and he knows it, but keeping those thoughts to himself isn't hurting anything, anyway.

He'd already had a bag packed and waiting — always does, when Iris draws near — and it doesn't take long to add a few additional necessities to the pile. A pair of sealed containers from the kitchen go into a cloth carry-bag, and he swings his acoustic guitar's case onto his back as he hands off the rest of his burden to Star and sets out for Alucard's apartment.

He doesn't rush, but he doesn't dawdle either. Soon enough, he's knocking at the door.]

[Everything felt too awkward. Even when he could freely transform into a bat of normal proportions, he had places to hide and a mind of how to manage himself. Being this size, this beastly has left him uncertain.

A giant bat-like beast, all of the fur white, and the familiar scar on his chest and golden eyes. At the moment, he's curled up on the floor in front of his couch, clutching the blanket and burying his face into it, focusing on its association.

Then he hears the knock. His ears flatten somewhat.]

Jojo?

Yeah. It's me.

[He sets his bag down, leaning against the still-closed door, cheek softly against the surface while his fingertips touch near the knob.]

Is it open?

Yes.

[He sounds close, so close. Even like this, he's yearning for Jotaro.]

Please come in.

[His fingers close around the knob, moving slow, and he doesn't altogether know why. Is he reluctant to startle Alucard? That's stupid, he knows he's coming, it's not like it would surprise him. So why, then?

It just feels right, somehow. To be careful. To appreciate that whatever is waiting for him on the other side of this door, it's something that made Alucard call himself a monster. Something that made him doubt he would want to see it.

Something like that warrants special care, he thinks, and eases open the door.]

Hey.

[White fur, huddled; a corner of the familiar old blanket. He's on the floor. He's big, by comparison.

He steps inside, Star trailing along with the bags, and he closes the door behind him.]

...Oh.

[Reluctantly, Adrian looks up at Jotaro, his ears pressed against his head. It's a foolish notion, and he does trust Jotaro, but his own fears and worries eat away at him. He doesn't feel beautiful enough for him, not anywhere close to human. Not for his Jotaro who deserves so much more.

Still, he looks up from where he's huddled. He feels the irrational need to apologize.]

Yes. Oh.

[He doesn't like being on his feet while Adrian is huddled on the ground. He's never liked that, never relished standing in the presence of someone else on his knees. It brings back too many memories, and so it's almost automatic that he sinks down low himself, easing his way across the floor rather than walking.]

Can I touch you?

[He settles in, easily within arm's reach, but leaving space sufficient to allow Adrian to be the one to decide how this goes.]

Or you can touch me. I'm right here.

You can touch.

[Slowly, Adrian rises up enough so he can bump his forehead against Jotaro's but careful to give him space if he wants it.]

Please touch me.

Hey.

[As their foreheads come together, he slips a hand around to the back of Adrian's neck and lets it settle there in a familiarly possessive way. An unspoken assurance that he wants him close, wants to keep him near.]

M'sorry. It won't be long before it's the triple moon, and then I'll be...whatever. Something to help you feel calmer.

[There's really no other word for it; the configuration of limbs in Adrian's new form is monstrous. His arms are too long and gangly, webbed with wings; his fingers are spindly and clawed. He's furred and huddled and he can't even begin to guess how tall Adrian would actually be if he were to stretch out, because he's betting he's not going to. In a better moment, he would have so many questions, would want desperately to know more and to understand.

But once upon a time the magician Sypha said one hurtful thing about Adrian, and now it's so deeply ingrained in him that it'll never go away. So he can't be careless, not even for an instant. Not when he knows full well that Adrian is painfully vulnerable behind this fearsome form of his, and every hurtful word is a barb that will fester for long after this Iris is over.]

Mm, you're warm.

[He cards his fingers through Adrian's thick fur, letting it run through his fingers.]

Does it hurt anywhere?

[Slowly, his breathing calms and he leans into Jotaro's hands, wanting whatever he'll give him. He feels like a mess, inside and out, and he wishes he could manage to appear more stable for Jotaro -- but he's seen his underbelly, and maybe that's for the best too. That he's seen the weakest and strongest parts of him.

Adrian lets out a little rumble at the fingers in his fur. It's nice.]

It doesn't hurt, no.

Just... awkward.

[He nuzzles into Jotaro's neck, huffing.] I'm happy with whatever form you take. You being here is enough. Promise.

If you start to get that itch, I want you to tell me. No hiding. No holding it back.

[He draws his hand back, ruffling through Adrian's fur the wrong way and making it fluff, and skims his fingertips up to trace feather-light along the outside edge of Adrian's ears.

Hmm. Monster breath. That's definitely different, but not really bad.]

I get to be the one who's fussing this time, okay? I want to.

[There's a huff and he shakes his head at the way his ears are touched before he's pressing back into Jotaro's hands.]

I'll tell you. But, speaking of itch...

[He pulls away before he's stretching out against the floor.]

Scratch my back?

...Cute.

[He watches, smiling softly to himself as Adrian gets situated, and then moves back in against his side to better lean over him. He doesn't have claws during Iris, which for once is sort of a shame, but he does his best with curled fingers and nails, raking them pleasantly down the length of Adrian's sprawled spine.]

Yeah, you really are warm. And your fur is soft.

[He makes a wide circle with his fingers, then repeats it in the other direction — clockwise, counterclockwise.]

And your wings...they're really — really pretty.

[There's another pleased growl from Adrian, his back arching under Jotaro's hands as his back is scratched.]

...You really don't mind me like this?

[And perhaps he shouldn't doubt Jotaro. But he has tried to be enough in so many ways to make himself presentable, acceptable. Just enough pride for himself, just enough humanity for others, enough of a monster for vampires.

There's no hiding anything here.]

...I mind that it makes you sad. And...okay, so it's a little harder to kiss you, that's kind of annoying. But...

[He hums softly, digging in with his fingers as he starts to discover Adrian's tolerances, adapting his scratching into something deep and satisfying.]

I'd be a real bastard if the way you look changed how I feel about you. You're my Adrian. Sometimes you're a bat or a wolf, sometimes you have fangs and claws, sometimes you put your hair up, sometimes you wear it down...but that's all you. It's all still just...you.

[He winds a fistful of fur around his fingers, tugging lightly in a gently playful way.]

I'd take you on a date right now, if you thought you were up for it.

[Another little huff, and he's suddenly turning over onto his back, pulling Jotaro in for an embrace. He nuzzles the top of Jotaro's head. How gifted Adrian is to have someone who enjoys him so, for all of his being. All forms and shapes he takes.

Jotaro is truly one of a kind.]

A date. Hm.

I'd like one, now that I know we're going on dates.

— Oompfh.

[WELL, that was a fast flip, and all of a sudden he's being snuggled by a seemingly contented giant bat creature. Again, this is another new and reasonably unfamiliar experience that he's still just going to go all in on, because it's Adrian and he...y'know.

He adores him.

So yeah, clearly Adrian can never know, or he'll get away with so much shit.]

I was thinking the beach? Probably there's not a whole lot of people out, if...you felt like you'd feel better someplace more quiet.

[He grumbles good-naturedly, tucking in beneath Adrian's chin.]

You tell me what you're okay with. I don't want to do something that makes you uncomfortable.

[It's a fine position, having Jotaro in his arms like this. There's the urge that he's repressing per usual, to beg for release, to have that, but he won't ask. He can suffer a bit of ongoing heat for awhile.

Instead, he considers the possibility of a date.]

The beach would be lovely with you. Even if I'm not at my best.

Maybe we could fly there. I mean if...you know. The wings will let you.

[He thinks, briefly, of the way Adrian had looked when he'd first walked in, huddled on the floor and clutching his blanket, miserable and small like receding into himself would help him forget the changes that had happened to his body. He wonders how it would feel to see him in what he assumes must be the monster's true element, wings spread and silhouetted against the light of the violet moon.]

I've got enough chroma. Star and I could keep up with you. It...might be kind of fun, actually.

I'm not certain how aerodynamic I am, but...

[He tilts his head and considers. Well, really, what would the problem be? He can float himself down if it ends up being difficult. How different could it be from being a regular bat, anyway?]

You could be on my back. If you'd like.

Oh, I get to be on your back this time. Last time you carried me somewhere you just scooped me up like a sack of rice.

[Or like a princess, rather, but god forbid he make that association right now. God forbid someone point out that he's not exactly innocent of that tendency, either, what with how often he's definitely picked Adrian up and hauled him around places himself.]

I want to. I want...let's just do something crazy, Adrian. And not give a fuck. Just us, however we want. Huh?

Honestly if my arms were an option, I'd do that again.

[But he does smile as warmly as possible in the body he's in, giving Jotaro another fierce nuzzle before releasing him.]

I would like that. Too much have we worried about the stakes of the world. I'd like to just worry about us for awhile.

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