[ He hasn't worried about this since he came here and he's not sure why. That test was the last thing that would really hold meaning for him before he had to choose something from a list of things he's always known wouldn't make him happy. One last thing to perfect and he's fucked it up.
It stopped mattering. It stopped mattering the moment he met Jotaro, but he just hasn't been able to think about that until now. First it was secondary to Holly's survival. And then there was no sense in thinking about it because it was one more thing Dio stole from him.
So now he has to figure out how he feels about it very quickly. Because if it doesn't matter? If it doesn't matter then he's not perfect. He's not even striving for perfection. And all he's ever had to define himself outside of that is loving Jotaro Kujo.
(And loving Dio, once. And not quite loving Adrian, in the same way that he was never quite about to reach perfection. But trying to. Working his way toward loving Adrian in the same way he'd try to master any skill, through study and practice and regular testing.) ]
You're a terrible influence. She really is going to hate you. Fuck.
[ He shakes slightly, but the breath that accompanies it moves outward sharply, not inward. Laughter, not sobbing. It doesn't matter. It's stupid that it mattered in the first place. ]
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It stopped mattering. It stopped mattering the moment he met Jotaro, but he just hasn't been able to think about that until now. First it was secondary to Holly's survival. And then there was no sense in thinking about it because it was one more thing Dio stole from him.
So now he has to figure out how he feels about it very quickly. Because if it doesn't matter? If it doesn't matter then he's not perfect. He's not even striving for perfection. And all he's ever had to define himself outside of that is loving Jotaro Kujo.
(And loving Dio, once. And not quite loving Adrian, in the same way that he was never quite about to reach perfection. But trying to. Working his way toward loving Adrian in the same way he'd try to master any skill, through study and practice and regular testing.) ]
You're a terrible influence. She really is going to hate you. Fuck.
[ He shakes slightly, but the breath that accompanies it moves outward sharply, not inward. Laughter, not sobbing. It doesn't matter. It's stupid that it mattered in the first place. ]
But she'll be happy, I think. That I love you.