IC Inbox | rubycity_rp | II

[starmark]

. . . Yare yare. What is it? Hurry up and say something already.



⇦ ● ⇨


[OOC: Contact through any format is fine, including action as you see fit!]

Comments

[lapidarius]

it's not, but i don't think i


are you home right now? we shouldn't talk about this over text.

[starmark]

yeah i'm in the library

our library i mean not the big city one

[lapidarius]

[Kakyoin didn't answer, instead coming to the library five minutes later looking a little pale and nervous.]

...We may be out of options, but I'm really not sure that's a good idea.

[starmark]

[He's sitting at one of the tables, reading books on what appears to be the subject of winemaking, because CRIME, JOTARO!!, apparently.]

So talk to me about it. Talking doesn't mean we're deciding on anything. It's just talking.

[lapidarius]

I...okay. Talking, I can do that.

[He was even very good at it. Usually. So he just had to take a deep breath and outline what bothered him and why this felt like a terrible idea. Kakyoin pulled out a chair and sat down, lacing his hands together to stop from fidgeting.]

I don't want to hurt you. And I'm worried that I don't have enough control when it comes to doing this with a living, breathing person to avoid doing that.

[He glanced away for a second before looking at Jotaro directly, as steadily as he could manage.]

...I know this is stating the obvious, but having no conscious control is not a pleasant feeling and I'm glad I can't remember most of it. I'm not sure I could do that to anyone that wasn't trying to kill me, and I don't want to be the one that does it to anyone that isn't.

[starmark]

[He reaches across the table, picking up Kakyoin's laced hands and covering them with his own bigger ones.]

Okay. I understand all of that, and I'm not going to argue with you about it. Those are your feelings, so I want you to know that I...I heard you. I get that.

You're worried it'll hurt me in two ways. Physically and from giving up control of myself. Right?

[lapidarius]

That's exactly it, yes.

[He didn't pull his hands back or look away, but Kakyoin was still pale and visibly unsettled despite how hard he was trying to cover it.]

You're right in saying we don't have a lot of options. But even so, that's...terrifying.

[starmark]

What if it was...I don't know. Say Polnareff. Would you feel this same way about Polnareff, or is it just me?

[He pauses, then shakes his head and amends: ]

Wait. Not Polnareff. Say it was Jiji, instead of me. Do you still feel the same...do you still feel this scared?

[lapidarius]

I don't...think it's a matter of things being different because it's you specifically. Whether it's you, or Joseph, or anyone--I don't want to hurt any of you like this.

[starmark]

...I'm glad. That it's not just me, I mean.

[A beat passes; he squeezes Kakyoin's hands a little.]

You know I'm not going to try to force you into it, if you don't want to do it.

[lapidarius]

I know that you wouldn't force it. It's just--this isn't easy. I don't want to do it, but...

[Kakyoin trailed off, gaze dropping to their hands as he thought this over. He really, really didn't want to do this. But...he knew that there might someday be a point where he wouldn't have a choice. There could be a time in which they fought someone they couldn't defeat any other way, and if Dio ever turned into the threat they knew him as, Kakyoin didn't know what else he had that would stand a chance against that.]

[So if he had to practice it as he'd already resolved to try, and if there was no other option...what else were they supposed to do?]

[He closed his eyes and took a slow breath, trying to resign himself to the idea or at least determine how to go about it that was the least horrifying way possible.]

...if we're really going to do this--and you have to be absolutely certain that you're okay with it--I want to set a few conditions first.

[starmark]

...Understood. That's fine with me. What conditions are you thinking of?

[lapidarius]

First, whatever happens is something you're going to outline before we do anything. I won't make you do anything you haven't clearly and explicitly told me, even if it's something minor like directing which way to move your arm. Second...no matter what the reason, whether it hurts or it's uncomfortable or anything, this stops the instant you say my name. My real name, so it'll get my attention no matter how much I'm concentrating.

[That was the most important thing as far as he was concerned; even if control in the realistic sense would be entirely on Kakyoin's side, he could give Jotaro enough freedom to decide what happened, how, and when it stopped.]

Third...you can't tell Polnareff. I have to be the one to talk to him about...using this.

[starmark]

...It's not that different than Time Stop, then. The way we did it for you, I mean. The — telling you what was going to happen, and when, and closing your eyes.

[But he nods slowly, processing all of this.]

That's fine. That...sounds good, I mean. For doing it. It's never going to be perfect, but it's as close as we can get.

[lapidarius]

Yeah--almost just like we've done with that. No matter what happens, you should be the one to dictate how we do this.

[He gave a slight, hesitant nod.]

I think...I think I'm okay with that.