starmark | IC Inbox

[And now we know how Jotaro will someday find the Thirst Book.]

Probably not. I'm sure it's hard to understand a feeling like that unless you have something that makes you feel a similar way.

[He shrugs slightly, skimming his hands along his hips near the pockets, like he's thinking of pushing them in but deciding against it.]

But I understand people who feel like that. Even if I don't understand the feeling itself.

[ It already exists, sucka. You gotta find it. ]

I want to add more to this place. I expected a dead castle but I expected... You know... Earthy, olden flare. [ His lips draw up to the right, wavering. ] The bridge with no water is nice but the outside is missing something and I have never been much of a gardener.

My grandmother tried to get me into that when I was younger and it never stuck.

I can't really imagine you gardening. Too much dirt under your nails.

[And on your Gucci...]

Have you thought about finding a nymph to handle that for you?

[ don't drag the gucci please ]

I know two. I haven't seen hide or hair of Princess Anna or her sister.

That leaves your bestie Togashi.

My "bestie"?

[YOU NEW KIDS WITH YOUR NEW SLANG AND YOUR NEWFANGLED SNAKEBUTTS INSTEAD OF LEGS]

He's all right. And besides, you've already had Josuke over, so it's not really all that different, is it?

[ SHRUG... ]

He's loud and vulgar. I'm not his biggest fan. Josuke is just an inconvenience. [ Rohan is the loud and vulgar one half the time. ] I will see if I can get him to come over for more decorating. If you are around, you two can... Do whatever it is you do.

[ He's been doing alright since Everything last week. More work and seclusion but he is doing Better. ]

Have you been doing alright?

...I still think about it sometimes. That night, I mean. I guess maybe I'll still think about it for a long time.

[He runs a hand over his face, though, like the extra minute to compose himself is just what he needs to keep himself on an even keel.]

Having Star helps. And the dog. Having something there when I wake up suddenly...it helps. So yeah. Yeah, I'm doing okay.

You likely will. It takes a long time. [ Which, coming from him, is admitting that he is still bothered by his own doings that he doesn't go over. The only time it came up was the other night when it was mentioned that Jotaro didn't have the opportunity to help him ]

I don't want to say it gets easier, but you think about it less and less as time goes on. Fits and starts are the worst that I get. [ Beat... ]

I have an advantage now. She tells me a few days beforehand when I'm going to need to eat again. It isn't baseless going out and finding something to use as a cushion just in case. It feels less problematic when She lets me know ahead of time.

..."She"?

[How many girls does Rohan even know? Certainly it's not Lorna; he already said he hasn't talked to Anna or her sister in a while; most of the people who hang around them seem to be guys...

...

Oh. Oh. That's right. He's left off the likeliest suspect. The questionably benevolent "She" who'd gotten all of them into this in the first place.]

...That is an advantage. How'd you manage to work out a deal like that?

[ How to... Explain that... ]

It's... Hm. [ He his hand finds his chest and then his throat, dipping his fingers into his shirt to pull out that tarnished old key. ] It's like an entry-level perk for joining the Fog God. I left Her a letter in Miss Madoka's prayer box when I was having a creative slump. She has given me a few nice things as a result. I can visit Dyster whenever I want, I have a kind of crappy but private room there.

I know when I'm going to need to eat and She granted me a power that I still don't really understand.

...Job perks. In exchange for your...what? Devotion?

[To his credit, his tone isn't running into the realm of judgmental here, at least not yet. It's more uncertain than anything else.]

So you're saying she tells you before you need it, and that way you never end up...starving yourself. Like I was.

Right. [ He replies whilst fiddling with the key in his fingers. ] I don't end up starving myself to stave off the urge and I don't go out and kill someone in hopes that it just happens to be the right time.

All I have to do is visit Dyster every now and then and leave Her something that says I am still around. The perks grow if I follow Her directions and exceed Her expectations of me. I have heard that She can get rid of hunger for long, long periods of time if I stay. [ Which may not be true but... ] I don't know if that part is necessarily true.

I don't have much to lose if this means I am given more to work with. It sounds dangerous but I haven't run into any bumps in the road. Rumors of immortality and protecting valuable people is enough to make me want to. Don't think I'm brainwashed or anything.

I'm not really one to trust promises of immortality. People who try to live forever —

[And he almost says "usually end up doing it on the backs of someone else", but then the memory of the dead man and his dog come rushing back and the thought dies in his throat.

He's a monster living on the backs of other people, now, himself. Is he really one to talk?]

...I haven't had the best experiences with a lot of people who've tried. Protecting valuable people, though...that's something I can understand wanting to do.

[ His nails make a dull sound along the key, stopping at its teeth to pull on them idly. What he wants to say isn't going to come out right. Or it MIGHT but it will sound a little odd. Odd in a way that Jotaro will not be put off by in the end probably. ]

If it gives me the off chance of being able to protect you? I'm fine making an effort.

[ He's not gonna say the other night spooked him but that might be what he's saying. ]

...Just tell me one thing, then?

[He's not altogether surprised to hear it, not really. Who would Rohan choose to protect, at this point, if he could? It's a short list of all of about two people — if that — and only one of those two people is living in a castle with him, outside of town with him, safely spirited away with him, sleeping in his arms with soothing offered up as solace with him.

It's a weird feeling, being protected. It's not altogether a bad one, exactly. Honestly, it's more like it's so good he almost doesn't dare to believe in it, from how bad he wants it to be true, and how desperately he thinks he'd be unable to bear being proven wrong if he did put his faith in it in the first place.]

You didn't...it wasn't just for me, was it? That's all I want to hear. That I wasn't...your only reason.

No. I did it for myself too. I started for myself. I was the only one who made any decisions because I needed help with something. I had a dry-spell with inspiration and wanted a new experience I could witness from the ground up. [ He gives a little shake of his head. It was a large deciding factor to stay in what's BASICALLY A BLOOD CULT. ][ It's embarrassing in its own way to admit something so uncomfortably out of his scope of practice. There is no denying that Jotaro is the most important thing to him. The taste of a personal desire to do ANYTHING for ANYONE is bitter and unpleasant to somebody who lets his life revolve around himself. ]

It's a weird feeling.

...Yeah. Okay, all right. I just...

[He idles a second, looking for words; Star Platinum, who until now has been hanging back like he'd been told to, quietly gravitates forward and hovers near Jotaro's shoulder in a way that almost reads as protective — as though he'd been cued to do so by some unexpected whim conveyed along their link by Jotaro's subconscious.]

...I'd be sort of mad at you, I guess. If you were throwing yourself into things like that just for my sake. Maybe that sounds strange, to say...that I'm glad part of it was a selfish motivation, too. But I am. I wouldn't have wanted it, if you'd done it for no one but me.

[ It's not strange. Rohan is thankful that it worked out this way. His selfishness led itself into something better and he isn't responsible for looking desperate or clingy. ]

I don't do things solely for other people. I never have. If people can't take care of things on their own, they aren't deserving of the effort from anyone else. [ He finally stops fiddling with the key and his tail swishes along the floor. ] You aren't a baby, Jotaro. The fallback is nice but it is something I have to work toward in the first place. It may not even happen. Getting to that point involves a huge commitment and things I don't want to have to think about doing. I can't just say I want something from Her and call it a day.

So, don't just run out and get myself killed? It wouldn't be the first time I've been told not to be reckless.

[He reaches out, though, and moves to catch the hand that Rohan had been using to fiddle with his key before it can lower completely, lightly curling his own fingers around Rohan's in a loose hold.]

Whatever choices you make with this...they're you're own choices. I understand that. But take care of yourself, okay? I'm not saying tell me everything. Or to make me a part of it, really. Just...

You really don't need to tell me that. [ It isn't flat or biting in any way. Clear if nothing else. His hand drifts outward from his chest so that Jotaro doesn't have to reach too far. ]

Just...?

Just...

[He's quiet, just for a second.]

I'm all right with not knowing for sure, whether or not I could take one of those gods in a fight.

Whatever deals and arrangements you make with them...I hope those gods never give me the reason to have to find out.

[did he just imply that he would fight the literal gods of this universe over rohan BECAUSE I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S WHAT JUST HAPPENED]

[ you can't punch a god jotaro ]

I can't tell if that's the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me or the most bizarre one.

[ DO WE??? KNOW???? ]

It's probably the latter. I wouldn't say I'm exactly a "romantic" type of person.

[ARE YOU ACTUALLY SERIOUS WITH THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW]

You just said you would fight a God for me.

[ THAT'S PRETTY ROMANTIC AND GOOFY ]

I probably would. That's romantic?

[He shrugs a little.]

I thought you were more of a jewelry and fine dining kind of person.

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, THIS IS JOTARO. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 019.20.118.16 * THIS IS JOTARO has joined 019.20.118.16 <THIS IS JOTARO> okay i'm typing now what <THIS IS JOTARO> delete what i just said <THIS IS JOTARO> delete what i just said <THIS IS JOTARO> delete everything i just said <THIS IS JOTARO> make this an automated messa <AUTOMATED REPLY, DO NOT RETURN>** This is Jotaro. Whatever you want, hurry up and tell me already.

IC Inbox | ryslig

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i hope you realize the comment i'm responding to was #666 on this post

it WOULD work out for me that way tbh

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