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[starmark]

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Comments

[ufufufufu]

Kingo. I think I would be sad if he died.

Precious Kingo. He is so helpless without me. All he wants to do is eat and cook things to eat. What a terribly helpless boy that he is!

He is probably crying right now...

[starmark]

huh

so does he serve under lord nobunaga too or does he just stay out of things and cook or what

[ufufufufu]

No, no.

Kingo is not under Lord Nobunaga. He would never survive. Kingo would be deemed worthless and be either shaped to be of something worthy of the Oda or die. Precious Kingo lives elsewhere. I met him accidentally as Tenkai. The boy did not know me and invited me to live with him. Is that not funny?

He did not know anything and yet willingly let me live in his home and have free reign. I could have killed him. I could have poisoned his food. I could have brought ruin to his house. But I just sat and had meals with him instead. What a funny sort of living that it was with that poor child that cried whenever the wind blew "too scary."

[starmark]

that is pretty funny

[FOR A GIVEN VALUE OF "FUNNY", HE SUPPOSES]

so you said he was helpless without you. does that mean you helped him out while you were living with him

[ufufufufu]

Tenkai did, yes.

Kingo, despite his everything, is a lord and in charge of his own army. But he lacks the constitution for it. So people try to make him cannon fodder instead.

Tenkai told the lords that would ask for Kingo that it was not possible. Some of those lords invaded in an attempt to bully Kingo into listening to them. Tenkai, who hates violence, had to kill them.

Kingo cried and cried the entire time but he would cry harder if he was forced into battles and war, don't you think? And without Tenkai there, will he be okay, Jotaro?????

[starmark]

...

i think only kingo really knows the answer to that

what i mean is, kingo might not look strong to anyone else, but that might just mean that kingo isn't strong the way that tenkai is strong. or the way that other generals are strong. he definitely doesn't sound like he's strong the way that lord nobunaga is strong.

maybe his kind of strength isn't the kind that wins battles with swords. but that doesn't mean he doesn't have any. maybe it just means he doesn't have the kind that other lords and generals are looking for

so maybe he'll be more okay than you think

i don't know, there's no way for me to say for sure

[ufufufufu]

I suppose, I suppose!

Kingo. My precious Kingo. I hoped he would come here so that I could stop worrying. People would tell me that there is someone crying nonstop and saying "Tenkai." Tenkai could take care of him and make sure that he is all right. He'd cook his meals so Kingo would not know what we have to eat here. I've thought about all these things, Jotaro.

But he still has not come and so I can only assume he's home, crying by himself and going to be bullied. I'll forget about this eventually but right now it's worrying me a lot. There are people that you're worried a lot for back home, too, right? Those that you're certain are crying and in need of you, right? What should we do?

[starmark]

...

i don't know

i don't know if here is really that much better than there

and for all i know those people might be dead right now so

"what do i do" seems like kind of a pointless question when the only answer i'm going to come up with is "who the hell knows"

[ufufufufu]

Dead? A corpse is what you see in your eyes when you look to your loved ones?

The image in your heart however isn't the same right? So long as they don't match then you should know. Yes.

I am sorry. I humbly apologize. I made you think of what your eyes are seeing and that made things difficult for you.

[starmark]

...it's like you said about kingo. you don't know either way so you have to assume, right?

if i didn't fuck up, then they're fine

if i did fuck up, then they're dead

but that's how war is too, right

sometimes it takes you so far afield that you don't have any way of knowing what's going to be waiting for you whenever you get back

[ufufufufu]

Hope. It's hope, right? Hope that fills the insides with the shimmerings.

[starmark]

"the shimmerings"?

sure i guess that's probably what it is

yeah

[ufufufufu]

The body feels all warm and content. Usually comes from an afterglow but I think it comes from hope, top, right?

Jotaro. Are you happy?

[starmark]

...oh. that.

i guess maybe i'm still trying to figure that out.

[ufufufufu]

Do not take too long.

You'll forget if the feeling is right if you wait.

[starmark]

i won't forget. i know what it feels like.

i'm just not sure if i'm ever going to get there again.

so i might have to adjust my definition.

start settling for something close but not really there. something like "happy enough".

[ufufufufu]

Don't you think it funny?

I'm happy. I'm very happy. Moments get to me. Like Kingo. Like Lord Nobunaga. But still I am very happy.

Why can I be happy and not you? Why do you have to change to settling? Don't make it so I can't follow, okay? Humans should try to be the same, right?

[starmark]

what?

...

hang on

are you worried about me or something

[ufufufufu]

Yes. :)

[starmark]

you and rohan have that in common, i think

he'll probably hate that when i tell him, too

...

it's fine. there's just stuff i have to figure out.

[ufufufufu]

How nice. To have something in common with someone. That connects people to people. :)

Jotaro! You don't have to figure out stuff by yourself. :) :) :) That is why we can speak to each other. No animal figures things out by themselves. A real human isn't alone.