[And now it's his turn to think a minute, because this kind of opening up isn't always something he's good at anyway, and the part about Lisa Lisa lying and keeping Joseph guessing strikes a particular chord, as well. But it's not about Jolyne; it's the juxtaposition of his knowledge of how much his young grandfather hates being kept in the dark about things, with the knowledge that there's still at least one thing being kept from him that there's simply no reason for him to have to deal with here. Of course if Josuke were to come back, things would be different, but even Josuke had lied all that time, and it was because the absolute last thing he'd wanted was to cause trouble for his father's family. He'd wanted to protect them; funny how that tendency had shown off his Joestar heritage just as much as the birthmark on his shoulder had.
People are supposed to be the masters of their own secrets. That's a belief he's had to cultivate by necessity, after everything that's happened in this city. There've been too many secrets, too many dilemmas; he couldn't possibly play moral arbiter of what's right and what's wrong to tell. So right or wrong, at least there's a standard: people get to keep their own secrets, and share them as they like.
But still he wonders if someday that will change. Maybe someday he'll end up telling Joseph this additional piece of his history, too.
Even so, keeping it feels like protecting him, now. And especially so in light of his choices with Caesar. Hard enough, for Joseph to arrive at his decision to love someone like this once; he doesn't need to be saddled with the necessity of wondering what might make him do it again. If something changes, then it changes. For now, he doesn't need that.
He hopes, quietly and inwardly, that if it ever changes, then hopefully they'll have an understanding between them, too, like the one they're discussing here.]
there's one thing, though. i'm not arguing with you or saying i don't appreciate it. i just want you to understand, because you're...family. you're two kinds of family, jiji, the blood kind and the kind that was there that night in egypt, even if you don't remember it yet.
i do think i was a shitty person. i know i was on track to be. i don't think i was evil or had bad intentions but i was fucked up and i wasn't...nothing was ever going to get me to try to change that.
i think the me of right now needs to be honest about what i was once, because that's the only way i can see what i am now. so when it seems like i'm holding on to that memory and refusing to let it go...that's why. because i need it with me so i can see how far i've come. sometimes it doesn't feel like it's been that much, that far, until i look at that guy and see it for myself.
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[And now it's his turn to think a minute, because this kind of opening up isn't always something he's good at anyway, and the part about Lisa Lisa lying and keeping Joseph guessing strikes a particular chord, as well. But it's not about Jolyne; it's the juxtaposition of his knowledge of how much his young grandfather hates being kept in the dark about things, with the knowledge that there's still at least one thing being kept from him that there's simply no reason for him to have to deal with here. Of course if Josuke were to come back, things would be different, but even Josuke had lied all that time, and it was because the absolute last thing he'd wanted was to cause trouble for his father's family. He'd wanted to protect them; funny how that tendency had shown off his Joestar heritage just as much as the birthmark on his shoulder had.
People are supposed to be the masters of their own secrets. That's a belief he's had to cultivate by necessity, after everything that's happened in this city. There've been too many secrets, too many dilemmas; he couldn't possibly play moral arbiter of what's right and what's wrong to tell. So right or wrong, at least there's a standard: people get to keep their own secrets, and share them as they like.
But still he wonders if someday that will change. Maybe someday he'll end up telling Joseph this additional piece of his history, too.
Even so, keeping it feels like protecting him, now. And especially so in light of his choices with Caesar. Hard enough, for Joseph to arrive at his decision to love someone like this once; he doesn't need to be saddled with the necessity of wondering what might make him do it again. If something changes, then it changes. For now, he doesn't need that.
He hopes, quietly and inwardly, that if it ever changes, then hopefully they'll have an understanding between them, too, like the one they're discussing here.]
there's one thing, though. i'm not arguing with you or saying i don't appreciate it. i just want you to understand, because you're...family. you're two kinds of family, jiji, the blood kind and the kind that was there that night in egypt, even if you don't remember it yet.
i do think i was a shitty person. i know i was on track to be. i don't think i was evil or had bad intentions but i was fucked up and i wasn't...nothing was ever going to get me to try to change that.
i think the me of right now needs to be honest about what i was once, because that's the only way i can see what i am now. so when it seems like i'm holding on to that memory and refusing to let it go...that's why. because i need it with me so i can see how far i've come. sometimes it doesn't feel like it's been that much, that far, until i look at that guy and see it for myself.