...i figured out a long time ago that this isn't something i can take sides on, jiji, because i like everyone involved.
what i mean is that i like caesar and i know you're the one who makes him happy. i knew him when he was here before you got here, and he's different now than he was then. he's happy when you're near him. even i can see that.
but i like grandma suzie too. and i like mom, and i like you. there's no way i can pick "who's right" in a situation like this. because what i want is for no one i care about to be miserable, and i care about everyone who's on every possible side of this.
...
i'm going to have a daughter someday. i want her to exist. i worry a lot, all the time, what that means about the choices i've made for myself now. and about kakyoin. because what it comes down to is...having to be someone for someone else, regardless of who you want to choose to be in the here and now.
i'm not pissed at you. i don't really know what i am, but it's not pissed.
no subject
what i mean is that i like caesar and i know you're the one who makes him happy. i knew him when he was here before you got here, and he's different now than he was then. he's happy when you're near him. even i can see that.
but i like grandma suzie too. and i like mom, and i like you. there's no way i can pick "who's right" in a situation like this. because what i want is for no one i care about to be miserable, and i care about everyone who's on every possible side of this.
...
i'm going to have a daughter someday. i want her to exist. i worry a lot, all the time, what that means about the choices i've made for myself now. and about kakyoin. because what it comes down to is...having to be someone for someone else, regardless of who you want to choose to be in the here and now.
i'm not pissed at you. i don't really know what i am, but it's not pissed.