He told me I could check in on him once in a while. I said I wouldn't push, so long as he'd let me do that much. He gets to set the pace.

[But.]

It's...I guess, solving the problem first and worrying about the consequences afterward. That's wrong, when the consequences involve hurting myself. I don't know why it's still so easy, telling myself "it doesn't matter, I don't matter, so long as..." whatever.