starmark: (INTROVERT ☆ keep running up that hill)
Jotaro Kujo ([personal profile] starmark) wrote 2019-12-07 02:08 am (UTC)

i told you a little about kakyoin before
when we were on the roof, when you told me about the worst night of your life
i said he was smart
he was so smart and i wasn't there

the vampire that was killing my mom
his stand did the same thing mine does, just better
being a vampire meant he could hold it longer
and he kept it a secret
we didn't know what we were going up against
and i didn't know i could...do it, too

kakyoin figured it out
jiji said the last thing he did before he died was tell him
he was dying and the last thing he was thinking of was trying to help us

i wouldn't be alive if he hadn't done that
i wouldn't have known what it did
i wouldn't have been ready to try to do it too
it's not just that i didn't save him
it's that i have a life right now because kakyoin bought it for me

but he was like you
he knew all the stupid local customs of everywhere we went
he would show them off and try to impress me i think

he spent his whole life feeling different because he had a stand and no one could see it
and i guess he decided that if they couldn't see it then they'd never know all of him
only part of him

he used to sunbathe in his school uniform
his favorite food was cherries and he'd eat them in the most fucked up way
i liked to talk to him
he never made me feel anxious about fucking something up

i made a little
it's not even a gravestone exactly
it's almost like a shrine i guess and that sounds so weird but
i try to
make myself talk to him

he can't hear me
i'm on some fucking planet in the middle of outer space
and he's dead
i know he can't hear me

he's so much fucking harder to talk to when he's dead

but i don't say i'm sorry
it feels like if i start saying i'm sorry i'll never stop

so i say things like
hey kakyoin
remember that time in the desert
remember the first time i saw the real you fight
remember the time you kicked me down the outdoor stairs and then gave me a handkerchief with a death threat in it
you're such a nerd, kakyoin

he was here before me, my friend says
he had a room here and he was alive and it still smells like him
but then he disappeared so i missed him again
i wasn't there again

maybe he's avoiding me

i just typed a lot
i'm not sure if any of that was what you wanted to hear

Post a comment in response:

This account has disabled anonymous posting.
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.
More info about formatting